eHarmony review

Overview

eHarmony is a new style of online dating site, where the searching is done for you - the online dating equivalent of introduction agencies.

Unlike most other sites where you are given features and tools to help you find your match, eHarmony uses the answers you provide in your extensive profile creation to search for those most compatible with you. It uses a scientific 'Compatibility Matching System' based on 29 dimensions, which narrows your potential matches down to a select group which you are supposed to have the highest chances of clicking with.

Such detail leaves you feeling confident that you will stand a good chance of getting on great with any one of your recommended matches, yet be prepared to invest more time and money in getting started than any other online dating service. With the search being out of your hands, a certain level of patience is also required and it can be frustrating and disheartening if no matches are found for you initially.

If you've tried online dating before and not had much success, then eHarmony will offer you a fresh approach which should hopefully prove fruitful. However, for those new to the online dating arena, we would recommend some of the more traditional sites as their quicker to get started on, and also much cheaper than eHarmony.

Who is it for?

Aimed at a slightly more affluent market than most of the more general online dating sites.

Profile creation

How long to fill out a profile? Approximately: 1.5 hours

eHarmony takes longer than any other site to get started and once you’ve completed the initial questions and you think you're done, you're presented with a whole bunch more.

Compatibility Matching System

From the very start you're required to complete the personality test, otherwise known as the eHarmony Compatibility Matching Systemâ„¢. This is very detailed, with both open-ended as well as a massive 210 closed questions you have to answer. These are pre-set answers which you select based on a scale of 1 to 7, such as 'not at all' up to 'absolutely'. These questions are split up into a total of 12 different pages/sections, but can be categorised into the following 5 areas:

• About You (how organised and emotional you are, etc)
• Self Descriptors (warm, aloof, outgoing, etc)
• Personal Characteristics (e.g. how much does this statement reflect you...)
• Your Feelings.
• Important Qualities for your Partner to have

About Me

Once you complete the initial marathon of questions the site prompts you to fill out more information in your 'About Me' section. This isn’t used by the scientific matching system to calculate your perfect matches, but is instead the first information someone will see about you if you have been recommended as a match to them. Such is the importance of this you feel that you need to complete this fairly soon, so be prepared to invest more time in answering questions. The sections with questions in here are:

• Introductory Information
• Must Haves
• Can’t Stands

'Introductory Information' is the first impression you make on your possible matches. You're presented with 13 questions which ask a variety of questions such as 'Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?' and so on. The bad news is that out of these 13 questions, 9 of them are open-ended, meaning you’re going to have to hone your writing skills too, which adds to the time.

'Must Haves' and 'Can’t Stands' are your chance to let a match know what you want and don’t want in a partner. You have to pick 10 must haves and 10 cant stands from a very long list of choices split into areas such as traits, values, family, social living, sexuality, spirituality and financial.

Features

Other than the very detailed eHarmony personality test at the very start, once you get into your profile there is not a lot else to do other than fill out more questions in the 'About Me' section, and maybe tweak a few search criteria.

You cannot post any videos, chat with members or build your own quizzes and so on like in many other dating sites.

You can view your personality profile report which was generated from the detailed personality test you completed at the start. This is a very comprehensive report and something which should be very good to learn more about yourself, who you will get on with best and the reasons why.

eHarmony also have a 'Guided Communication' feature, where you can go through a number of stages of interaction (question asking and answering, etc) with a recommended match. Learn more about this in the 'Contacting Members' tab above.

eHarmony is very much a 'sit and wait' service where you let the system find you your matches.

Searching

Search, well, let’s just say that it is different on eHarmony. Users cannot log-in and search for members using certain preferences and criteria like on other sites, but instead have to let the scientific compatibility matching system scout for members who should be highly compatible with you. You can either wait for email alerts when matches have been found, or play around with your match preferences and then give the system a workout in finding the right matches.

This very aspect of eHarmony can either be very good, or indeed very bad.

If you complete your profile and the system immediately finds you a host of matches which you find are very compatible with you then the service will have worked perfectly. It also takes the pressure off of you to search out the needle in the haystack of perfect matches.

However, if the system is struggling to find you matches then there’s not a lot you can do other than playing around with some of your preferences in your 'ideal matches' information. This leaves you with the feeling of being rather helpless to the system. Unlike other sites you cannot actively search out different people and browse profiles. What’s more, if the system does not return many (or indeed any!) matches after you have just spent over a good hour completing your profile then you might feel that eHarmony has just wasted your time.

Viewing Profiles

Again, unless the system has given you a list of recommended matches, you cannot search and view anyone’s profile.

When recommended matches come in for you then you are able to see their 'About Me' section. This allows you to see what they have written in their introductory section, and also their 'must haves' and 'can’t stands' in a partner.

Not particularly comprehensive but the whole point is that once the system has recommended you as a match, you should be compatible enough that there does not need to be as much information or features in your profile, unlike other sites where you do the searching yourself.

Contacting members

Nothing you can do unless the system has provided you with recommended matches, and this can take a few days.

However, when your recommended matches start to come in, eHarmony's 'Guided Communication' feature is very good. This is where eHarmony, as the name suggests, 'guides' you through a process of getting to know each other. This is the process which you can follow:

• Send 1st Questions
• Read his/her Answers
• Answer his/her questions
• Read his/her Must Haves and Can’t Stands
• Send Must Haves and Can’t Stands
• Answer his/her Questions
• Send 2nd questions
• Read his/her Answers
• Read Dr. Warren’s Message
• Start Open Communication

If you want to jump straight into 'Open Communication' with the other person, eHarmony also allows you a 'FastTrack', where you message that person directly; very much like the traditional 'email' option on other online dating sites.

As for the questions to ask, eHarmony presents you with a very long list of 57 questions covering all possible angles. It's your job to pick only 5 (perhaps too limited if we're going to be picky) that you want the other person to answer. You ask and also answer 2 rounds of this.

Dr Warren is the founder of eHarmony, and very helpfully, just before you begin open communication with the other person, he presents to you a page of expert advice and tips on how to get the most out of your dating experience.

Overall, the 'Guided Communication' way of contacting members is a nice and 'not-too-fast' way of getting to know someone better, although all the other online dating sites enable you to find out similar information about someone, just a lot lot quicker.

Email alerts

You get an email alert every time the system matches you on compatibility with someone. If you are a paid member you can click through to their profile and get in contact with them. Such emails for our test profile were very few and far between, with only 1 or so every 3 or 4 days. However, different personality scores may result in different volumes of matches emailed through to you. Nonetheless, after investing so much time getting up and running, it was worrying to receive so few email alerts for possible matches.

eHarmony also allow you to customise other forms of email, such as special offers, news and dating tips/advice.

Value for money

eHarmony is let down by its pricing. Out of all the online dating websites we have available for you to compare here on Smart Dating UK, it's the most expensive one.

Unlike most other dating websites, eHarmony provide very few features. Their unique selling point is their compatibility matching system and the science behind finding you your perfect match, and therefore this is the fundamental feature throughout.

However, if the system does not return you many matches then you might think it's a lot of money for very little if none of your matches turn out to be the one.

Saying this, if the system does generate numerous matches for you, these are highly likely to be very compatible with you, and does save more risk, uncertainty and time searching out an ideal match that you would have to do on the more traditional dating sites.

eHarmony is therefore the largest gamble when choosing an online dating service to use. The risk of spending a lot of money and having almost no results is probably a push factor away from eHarmony and to the other websites.

Best bits

Comprehensiveness of your profile and personality data. If you do manage to receive matches from the system then the detail and science behind it all is likely to mean that you will hit it off with that person should you decide to meet. This is true of other sites of course, but requires much more searching and trial and error, unlike eHarmony where you are much more certain your match is indeed 'a match'.

The 'Guided Communication' system, where eHarmony lets you slowly get to know each other through completing various stages of questions/communication before starting proper open communication, is a very good feature. This is again part of eHarmony's strength of making you feel as confident as you can that the person you are communicating with will be compatible with you, therefore reducing (but not eradicating) the risk of a string of failed dates.

Worst bits

Time! It takes so long to get up and running and when you think you're done, you're asked to fill in more details! After all that you may not even get any matches.

Feeling like you are at the mercy of the system could be a negative aspect of eHarmony for some, as you may have to sit and wait for weeks before you are given a decent number of recommended matches. You cannot take the bull by the horns and go out and search for people. However, whilst this is irritating, this approach is really what eHarmony is all about, so it depends on whether you like the idea of having the search for matches done for you.

Pricing

1 month: £34.95
3 month: £74.85
6 month: £89.7