Then there are the rest of us, where dating has become part of our life journey. We’re the people who have grown up with dating; dated studied and, dated inappropriate colleagues, dated friends, and dated friend’s exes. We have blossomed through dating, but we have also crashed and burned. We have stories to tell and we have ALL had an awful first date.
In fact, I’ve had my fair share, at least one for each stage of my life…

6th Form: My first real date

We were going to the cinema, me and Mr Perfectionist. Because that’s what you do at 6th Form, go on a date with someone who is slightly in love with themself, and they take you to watch a film. It’s an unwritten rule. He was in his Dad’s car, with a shiny new driving licence, and when I went to get in he said: “Just to warn you, that chair’s a bit dodgy”. I discovered by dodgy he meant broken, and every time he accelerated the chair would slide backwards and every time he braked I would slide forwards. Looking back, I can see the funny side, but back then, as a self-conscious 17 year old, it kind of ruined the date.

University Dating: Drunk Before It Started

This time I was a little bit nervous because I liked him and he was a friend of a friend; I felt under pressure for it to be a good date. Therefore, I thought it would be a good idea to sink a bottle of wine in the bath, then get ready, then just as I was leaving the house, Inaturally decided it would be a good idea have a quick smoke on flatmate’s funny cigarette. I don’t actually remember much of the date, apart from the fact that I thought myself to be hilarious and rarely shut up. But the next day I learnt I had been doing some rather funky dance moves in the rather empty bar, much to his embarrassment. My Date (who never rang me again) had impersonated these funky moves to my flat mate, who in turn found it amusing to use this impersonation as his party trick – FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS!

Unprofessional Dating

Most people have dated someone from work – it’s where most partners meet. But there is always a risk it will go badly, and the professional relationship will be broken forever. Therefore, colleagues tend to be discreet when dating each other, you know, just in case… A colleague and I intended to be discreet on our first date. But, unfortunately, the obscure, off the beaten track, pub we chose to meet at also happened to be the local of our vulgar, unsubtle and gleefully disapproving boss. It didn’t make things easy and we never bothered again.

None of these awful dates led to a second date; sometimes a bad first date can kill off any spark. However, as I have got older, I have become wiser (in the dating circuit at least) and have learnt that the following two things help diffuse any awkward situation: a sense of humour and a smile. If you take yourself, or a date, too seriously, it is never going to blossom into its true potential. First dates need to be light hearted, relaxed and engaging. And if you hit 1 out of 3, you’re not doing too badly.

CC Image courtesy of OctopusHat on Flickr

For those of you who have watched the Friends episode “The one with the leather trousers”, will know exactly what I’m talking about when I tell you my friend once found herself unable to leave a night club toilet as she couldn’t pull her leather mini skirt back down. It took three of us, plus a good twenty minutes and a lot of OTT panicking, before we got the skirt back to a respectable position. This was the skirt she had planned to wear on a date the following week “Thank God that didn’t happen on a date!” We all said afterwards. Thank God.

Only years later, it turned out to be me who was that girl who got stuck in a dress on a date.

It was near Christmas and a colleague I had a crush on, suggested that the two of us should go for dinner before the Christmas Party. There was no mistaking this was actually a date, as we had snogged each other’s faces off at the end of someone’s leaving party the week before. The only dilemma was what to wear – the usual party frock, which was compulsory for a Christmas do, or something more demure?

I decided the party frock was the way forward, I mean how often do you get to really push the boat on a first date? I spent a fortune on a LBD from a shop I usually avoid, as the price tags threaten to bankrupt me. I loved it. It was extremely flattering; boned to add sculpture and hid a multitude of sins. I felt super sexy.

Now as Christmas parties are prone to too much alcohol and inappropriate behaviour we, of course, ended back at his place. As things were hotting up, I felt his hands reach for the zip at the back of the dress. This promisingly tender and beautiful moment , quickly turned into me lying on his bed as he straddled me, using both hands to try and release the zip. The zip didn’t budge. The dress won. We did spend the night together; him under the covers, almost naked, me above them fully clothed in a very expensive and uncomfortable dress. Passion and romance absent.

When I returned home the next morning (a new meaning to “still in last night’s clothes”) I had to call my Mum round to get me out of the dress. She ended up cutting me out, the whole time insisting I “should have returned to the shop, in the dress and demanded they got me out or gave me my money back!” I felt I had suffered enough humiliation for one weekend.

So through experience I have learnt the following:

What not to wear on a first date…

Top Half

If the weather is slightly warm I’d avoid anything that may show up sweat patches. Do not underestimate those nerves and how they can catch you out, even if you are a girl who doesn’t normally sweat. I wasn’t, but it was a particularly hot day in May and my clingy long sleeved, khaki, lycra top did my underarms no favours.

Bottom Half

Nothing too tight! Be it skirt or trousers there is always a danger of it splitting – even the most expensive and reliable of pair can betray you.

Underwear

Only if you can 100% guarantee he won’t catch sight of your underwear would I advise “magic knickers”. But the underwear department has to be reliable – I was once dancing in a nightclub, with a man, only to discover my strapless bra had fallen down and was swivelling round my waist.

Footwear

Heals can add height, lengthen legs and make you look slimmer, but my God they can be troublesome. I have lost heels when: falling down the stairs, skidding on the ice, falling off the dance floor and clambering over a cobbled high street. Warning: heels stop being sexy when you’re limping and carrying one of them!

So with all this in mind, I set forth to the shops to buy something new for my date this week… My shopping list has never been so pedantic!

The survey showed that male users were 6% more likely to postpone a date where no alcohol was involved than female users. The survey also found that nearly 50% of all total users needed an alcoholic stimulant in order to feel socially confident.

Truth be told, though, this finding isn’t hard to believe. A lot of us just find it easier to relax and socialise with an alcoholic drink, though few would probably want to get completely wasted on a first date (unless you’re a new university student, in which case, it’s the definition of a first date). People probably just like to have the option of an alcholic drink to relax themselves in what, for many, can be a tense and borderline awkward experience (I’m talking about first dates with people you’ve only spoken to online before, by the way).

So what do you make of these survey results? Having the option of a drink is usually preferred for dates, but what do you think of blowing an alcohol free date off just because you can’t get some drink on? Leave your comments below!

“Wii Dating” hosted by XFactor Dates will see singles compete with and against each other whilst playing on the fantastically fun games console, the Nintendo Wii – the perfect console to bring people together whilst having fun playing.

It should prove to be a very interesting way of breaking the ice with new people as well as adding some extra spice to the evening. You never know, could Wii Dating eventually replace Speed Dating as the the most popular type of dating event?

Check out when and where the next hotly anticipated Wii Dating event is near you in the Smart Dating UK ‘events’ section – click here.

Also, we have created a poll around the question: “What do you think about the prospect of Wii Dating?”. See the possible responses and vote yourselves on our facebook page, where the poll is – vote here.

Guys, as you walk her back to her front door and she’s turns to you with the keys in her hand, your heart races. How to kiss her? Do you kiss her on the cheek? Do you kiss her on the lips? Surely not just a handshake? A full on snog? The first date kiss decision is crucial to make or break a perfect evening.

Women, do you wait for the guy to make the moves? Do you play it hard to get and just let him peck you on the cheek? Or, do you take the bull by the horns and kiss him? The dilemma of how, or if you should kiss on the first date!

Depending on how the night went, both of you will have a pretty good idea of how “full-on” you want that kiss to be. But so often shyness creeps in, and that perfect night can end up missing the proper kiss that it was crying out for.

Key is to know the signs

Whilst most women will happily take the lead and guide the process, many naturally wait for the guy to take the initiative. Here are the most common signs that a woman will want her date to kiss her:

• She’ll be facing him
• Her arms will be down by her side
• She’ll be holding his eye contact

If she’s not facing him, and her eyes are wandering elsewhere then it is almost certain that she is giving him the red light. Getting the kiss right at the end of the night can put the perfect end on a perfect night, or leave an embarrassing glitch until your next date (if there is another date!).

It’s a hotly debated dating topic, but should you have sex on the first date? There’s certainly no definite answer to the issue of first date sex, and often you’ll find that a person’s response depends on a number of factors, mainly their age and gender as well as loads of other variables that make us all idiosyncratic individuals.

Women

Most women seem to be of the general consensus that they should refrain from having sex on the very first date, and this is almost certainly true for women the further away from the twenties they get.

A major obstacle to women having sex on the first date is the theory that they will come across as a ‘slag’. They believe that the guy will ultimately lose respect for her in the long-run, ruining any chances of a long-term relationship. Whilst this might be true for some relationships, a study from ‘The Guardian’ on the issue of first date sex revealed how the chemistry between some couples on a first date can be so perfect, that the only way to end the night is between the sheets.

Men

Surprisingly,  research show that more men than predicted seemed to share a similar opinion on first date sex – although more men than women admitted that they would definitely try for sex on the first date!

Should I then?

It therefore seems that first date sex depends on the individuals concerned. Most relationship experts will claim first date sex is bad for long-term relationship success, and this is probably true for many couples.

Getting to know each other before getting more intimate can certainly built up that all-important trust. Nevertheless, for some couples it seems just ‘right’ to have first date sex, and if both of you feel comfortable with it, why not?

A problem shared is a problem halved so we’d like to help ease the pain and encourage you to share your dating horror stories… from bumping into one of your ex’s when out with your date, to the more ‘hand-in-mouth’ moments such as returning from the restaurant toilet with loo roll hanging out behind you!

Please add your stories below below!