Now I’m not talking about the physical or monetary attributes that are always a pleasant bonus, you know, the 6ft tall, dark and handsome banker with a great car, no ex wife or kids! I mean the qualities and values and the way he’d be with you that would make you feel loved, cherished and secure.

Commit to spending some time really getting to know what these qualities are so that when the next man comes along you’ll know if he’s worth dating and is a good match for you or if you should just let him go and move on.

2. Decide if you are ready to attract the right man and have the relationship you want?

It’s vital to get your own house in order if you’re to attract the right man. I hear so many women who want this ‘perfect guy’ but the question is: ‘If your perfect guy turned up in your life tomorrow, would you be the perfect woman for him right now?’

Remember, the great mature guys out there have choice, just like the great mature woman does. They’re not going to ‘fall’ into any relationship, they’re not going to settle for second best and neither should you.

So, take a few moments to write down the sort of person you are in a great relationship.

• How do you communicate with him when you’re feeling emotional?
• How do you cope with disagreements or when he goes distant?
• What do you enjoy doing in your free time with and without him?
• How do you support him in what he loves to do?
• What do you value in yourself and offer a new partner?
• Where do you feel you’ve gone wrong in the past and what needs to change to have a different result?

The good news is that you can have any kind of man and relationship you want. You just have to be prepared to be patient, do some work on yourself and get ready to attract and then of course, keep him!

3. Make the time to go and get him!

OK, so you’re ready to find the right man for you but this next step is the one we so often neglect. You see unless you’re out there meeting people and actively putting yourself in situations where you’re likely to meet the right men, it’s just not going to happen and you’ll end up disheartened and feeling like the whole dating process is just too much like hard work.

My recommendations are to join an online dating site, find new single girlfriends and of course just go out and have some fun. It’s great if guys approach you but don’t wait for that to happen. Be the one to go over to him and say something fun to get his attention, I promise…he’ll love you for it.

Now I know you want a guy that’s strong and not afraid to come over and chat to you, but don’t forget, guys are scared of rejection too so make it easy for him by giving him a little helping hand, after all, what have you got to lose?

Final note:

Don’t try to fit the wrong man into being your perfect partner because you’ll just end up disappointed and frustrated every time.

Commit to taking the time to understand yourself and what will make you happy and then crucially, GO OUT, HAVE FUN AND GET IT!

Watch what he has to say below. Do you think he makes some valid points? Do you now feel you should pay more attention to the kids, nieces, nephews, etc in your life when it comes to the issue of love and relationships? Or is it just typical Amercian television?

Whatever your view, leave us your comments below. It certainly makes for interesting viewing!

Guys, as you walk her back to her front door and she’s turns to you with the keys in her hand, your heart races. How to kiss her? Do you kiss her on the cheek? Do you kiss her on the lips? Surely not just a handshake? A full on snog? The first date kiss decision is crucial to make or break a perfect evening.

Women, do you wait for the guy to make the moves? Do you play it hard to get and just let him peck you on the cheek? Or, do you take the bull by the horns and kiss him? The dilemma of how, or if you should kiss on the first date!

Depending on how the night went, both of you will have a pretty good idea of how “full-on” you want that kiss to be. But so often shyness creeps in, and that perfect night can end up missing the proper kiss that it was crying out for.

Key is to know the signs

Whilst most women will happily take the lead and guide the process, many naturally wait for the guy to take the initiative. Here are the most common signs that a woman will want her date to kiss her:

• She’ll be facing him
• Her arms will be down by her side
• She’ll be holding his eye contact

If she’s not facing him, and her eyes are wandering elsewhere then it is almost certain that she is giving him the red light. Getting the kiss right at the end of the night can put the perfect end on a perfect night, or leave an embarrassing glitch until your next date (if there is another date!).

It’s a hotly debated dating topic, but should you have sex on the first date? There’s certainly no definite answer to the issue of first date sex, and often you’ll find that a person’s response depends on a number of factors, mainly their age and gender as well as loads of other variables that make us all idiosyncratic individuals.

Women

Most women seem to be of the general consensus that they should refrain from having sex on the very first date, and this is almost certainly true for women the further away from the twenties they get.

A major obstacle to women having sex on the first date is the theory that they will come across as a ‘slag’. They believe that the guy will ultimately lose respect for her in the long-run, ruining any chances of a long-term relationship. Whilst this might be true for some relationships, a study from ‘The Guardian’ on the issue of first date sex revealed how the chemistry between some couples on a first date can be so perfect, that the only way to end the night is between the sheets.

Men

Surprisingly,  research show that more men than predicted seemed to share a similar opinion on first date sex – although more men than women admitted that they would definitely try for sex on the first date!

Should I then?

It therefore seems that first date sex depends on the individuals concerned. Most relationship experts will claim first date sex is bad for long-term relationship success, and this is probably true for many couples.

Getting to know each other before getting more intimate can certainly built up that all-important trust. Nevertheless, for some couples it seems just ‘right’ to have first date sex, and if both of you feel comfortable with it, why not?

Online dating profiles often cause stress for many who have just started out on the internet dating scene. Whilst many are lost for the right words to pick to describe themselves or even struggle to find a suitable profile image, others simply tell some white lies.

Internet dating horror stories seem to crop up now and then about how people arranged a date thinking they were going to meet someone who they could click with. However, they  find that they are completely different to what they expected, both in personality and interests as well as appearance.

This is often because many are self-conscious and shy about how they describe themselves, and so go overboard by stretching the truth a little too far.

Be honest in your profile description. Everyone expects you to ‘big-up’ your qualities to some extent, but white lies in your profile and a profile picture of you from ten years ago, will not only disappoint your date and show you to be dishonest but will also reduce your chances of meeting someone you’d be compatible with.

Help is always at hand. The Smart Dating UK YouTube channel has a collection of videos entitled ‘The ins and outs of online dating profiles’ which should be useful. Our very own online dating profile service, Perfect Dating Profile, also offers professional solutions for your profile writing and profile picture.

If you’ve met up with a date who was completely not what was described in their online profile, or indeed have lied in your own profile, let us know. Leave your comments below!

Most women reading this have probably heard their fair share of cheesy lines whilst they’ve been out at bars and clubs before, and many men also reading this have probably been guilty of using one of two. But, do chat up lines actually work?
Ask any woman and they are likely to tell you that the worst chat up lines are indeed the cheesy lines – those that the guy has plucked from a dodgy men’s magazine or even pre-planned with his mates before going out.

Most woman will probably giggle (and others will probably roll their eyes!) at pick up lines such as: “Is your name Jacobs, because you’re a right cracker!” and “Do you work at the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package?”

However, with cringe worthy cheesy lines like these, I doubt many woman are going to want to spend much more time with the guy that evening. If they do, they may think twice about planning anything long term.

Just watch Paddy in the Channel 4 show ‘Max & Paddy’ here – a great satire of cheesy lines:

Different Approach

In fact, research shows that a simple “Hi” is the most successful line at sparking a deep conversation, and woman openly admit that they consider it as one of the best chat up lines.
Interestingly, this works both ways, as men too simply like a woman who can confidently say “Hi” to them when out on a night out.

The irony is that cheesy chat-up lines are designed to, as the title suggests, get you talking and interacting with someone you’ve just met on a night out – when in actual fact all they are likely to achieve is getting a cheap thrill and damaging your chances of getting to know that person properly.

Here’s a good approach, which avoids going down the road of serious cheese, without losing a little cheekiness and charisma:

We want to know what you think about Chat-up lines…

Women - Do they work on you? What do you dislike (or love!) about them? Do you use them on men?

Men - Are you a regular user of cheesy lines? What are your best pick-up lines? How do most women react to them?

As ever, Smart Dating UK want your comments – so tell us your chat-up line stories by commenting at at the bottom of this blog post.

It’s pretty useful to be able to tell if someone likes you or not. Many men claim to be spectacularly bad at ‘reading’ signs of attraction shown by women, whereas many more women seem to have the knack of knowing whether they’re fancied or not. So why do so many of us get it so wrong, and how can we learn to read the signs of sexual attraction?

If you’re really keen on someone, there’s more at stake, and so it gets even harder to work out whether you’re fancied or not it return. Being able to read body language has to be a great skill doesn’t it? In all sorts of situations, not just the romance department. For those of you missing the cues time after time, swat up on these sure signs of body language attraction, say hello to more successful dating and goodbye to hopeless romantic blunders.

Signs of Attraction

• Fiddling with hair, or a necklace
• Being nervous or excited around someone
• For men, shoulders back, chest slightly puffed out
• For women, shoulders back and slightly arched back
• Dilated pupils
• Holding eye contact
• Woman will expose the inside of wrists and palms; a gentle gesture indicating a desire for communication
• For men, hands on hips or in belt loops highlights the genitals, and shows readiness for involvement! A sure sign of sexual attraction
• Leaning in towards someone while communicating

Knowing the signs of physical attraction could mean the difference between a beautifully well timed and confident parting kiss, square on the lips, and a hasty head turn at the wrong moment leading to an embarrassed exit by a couple of red faces who’s paths never cross again. Get it right and no-one leaves with egg on their face!