There are a slew of online dating websites to help you find that special someone, but not many to console you once it goes to shit. New website WotWentWrong aims to help you answer their titular question.

The website acts as a sort of go-between between you and your ex/date. It helps you create a notification for them asking them ‘what went wrong?’ Then they can choose from predefine reasons and even add their own.

It’s a bit weird, but if it helps people shape up their act then surely it’s a good thing? It’s difficult to tell how successful it will be this early on, but it’s certainly a niche that can be fill. Next time you find yourself asking ‘what went wrong?’ why not try out the site and see if it works for you? It could help you find the answer you’re looking for.

The system takes a leaf from the books of other online dating services that allow Facebook functionality by users “enabling [LoveStruck] to cross-check their Lovestruck profile against various public Social IDs, such as Linkedin, Twitter and Facebook.” This is a pretty conclusive and fairly non-intrusive way of making sure people are who they say they are, and stopping pesky phishing bots from getting much of a hold on the dating service.

Once this is done, the user will receive a verification stamp. Of course most users will do this, as the sight of a ‘verified’ stamp on a dating profile is a welcome beacon of security to you not completely wasting your time. It seems to be a pretty sound verification system. What do you think? Should other online dating services adopt this approach? Do you think verification is unnecessary paranoia? Let us know in the comments below.

This is how the date went. We met at the place we’d agreed upon. I had arrived earlier than him as I wanted to see if I could see him before we official met so I could form an opinion of the guy in private. This man came along swaggering and I said to myself ‘please don’t let that be him’ and as is my usually fate, it was him. So… Mr A is in his late 30′s, so not exactly an oldie but within 10 minutes of us saying hello he was telling me that he had a bad back (etc etc etc). I started to think that he may be older than he was telling me. He seemed to have a world weary attitude about everything, and although I’m very nearly 30 myself, I still have the outlook and attitude I did when I was a student 10 years ago.

I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope that  he was just a bit tired and that he would start to pick up once we got into a decent conversation. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. As I said earlier, we had been exchanging emails about our likes and dislikes. I made it very clear that I dislike spectator/team sports and that there was absolutely no point in talking to me about them as in my head it sounds like blah, blah, waffle, waffle, drivel, drivel. His entire conversation ended up being about which football team he supported, would I like to watch him play rugby one weekend, do I like golf, what did I think to some foreign player being sold to another team for a stupid amount of money, what was my opinion of some F1 teams car etc. I was starting to think that I was on a date with someone completely different from the man I had been messaging. Once I finally managed to get him to stop talking about sports, he started talking about his ex and how her and his family didn’t get on.

It’s never a good date when someone starts slagging off ex partners. Thankfully at this point in the conversation the food arrived so he shut up while he shovelled food into his face. As soon as I saw that he was eating the onions on his side salad and had ordered the garlic bread (which I had failed to notice at the time as I was too busy trying to block out the sports waffle by trying to remember the lyrics to Uptown Girl) I felt an almightly sense of relief. I realised that he obviously wasn’t expecting a kiss at the end of the night.

When the night was finally at it’s end I shook his hand said thank you for the date and dashed off in the direction of my car. I got a text message from him before I even reached the exit to the car park. When I got home I read this message: Im guesin dat u dnt wana go ot agin.

I hope he’s not expecting a reply.

After my year of dating I have become very familiar with my flaws on the dating scene and as a young dating woman I have had to take some advice and some well-needed dating tips on how to be better at dating. “Dating tips for women” may sound patronising and condescending, but there’s nothing with accepting that you need a little help. I was aware that I did; I did not have cruise control, I had two gears: reverse and override! And I showed it, I wore my heart on my sleeve and was devoid of aloofness. Additionally, open mindedness isn’t something comes naturally to me so it took a lot of will power not to dismiss potential daters instantly.

Having said all this ladies, I have improved; a new year and a new me means I have wisdom to share…

Throw away the Checklist…

The older we get and the more date, it’s inevitable that desirable traits will get put upon a hypothetical list. However, this is an unhealthy way to start dating. People are dismissed without a look in – who knows what you may be throwing away because they are half an inch under the height requirement and you once went out with a short guy who had a big chip on his shoulder. That guy you just dismissed may have been kind, sensitive and generous and you shelved him because of half an inch!

Be honest!

Don’t be scared to say what you want. As women it’s in our nature to please, but don’t be afraid to let them know what your expectations are, otherwise how are they ever going to live up to them.  And if they don’t…

Give them a second chance.

Not a third or fourth, but definitely a second.  Men usually have to cross a line before they see it, so let them make a mistake once… And if they’re worth holding on to they won’t do it again.

Stop The Wedding Plans!

Instead of thinking “Is he husband material? “You should be thinking “Is he second date material?”  He certainly won’t be thinking any further ahead than next week, so why should you? There is so much fun to be had in the early stages of dating why would anyone want to waste time thinking about the future?

Dating isn’t easy; you are going to get knock backs, find new hang ups, put yourself under the microscope and feel vulnerable and exposed. All this takes courage, and it’s hard enough just “being yourself” under these pressures without considering everything else I’ve mentioned. But all of the above points link to one word… Relax! If you relax and enjoy it, for what it is, a meeting, a new person, an adventure…  Then you will be good at it.

Two mouths for twice the Frenchin’.

Sounds like a great idea, right? Especially for those looking to have children. Alien children. Ripping themselves out of your belly while you’re still alive. That’s what the dating website LocalSin thought, anyway. They’re developing a new mobile application that will allow its users to date beyond the limits of our earthly abode, and into space: the final frontier, where no man has dated before, let alone got to second base, though I believe on Mars they call it ‘second moon’.

The dual moons of Mars are strangely phallic.

LocalSin’s app will send radiowaves into space to transmit messages in a way similar to the efforts of NASA. Unlike the space programme sending important information about our planet and culture, we expect most of the app’s broadcasts will be “a/s/l?” or “Love your profile (:  Have you got IM so we can chat more?”. This could cause a mix-up of broadcasts which could potentially be disastrous for us as potential alien visitors feel we’re coming on too strongly and are scared away.

LocalSin has said the app could take as long as 5 years to develop. We’ll be using iPhone 10s by then! By that point Siri, the creepily real iPhone 4 virtual assistant, will have advanced enough to be able to function as a lover, rendering dates from anyone, earthling and alien alike, useless. But it’s still good of LocalSin to try.

There will always be people that will think of cross-speices dating as weird, just as people in the past thought mixed race relationships to be wrong. There’s nothing we can do but embrace it. Also, have you seen those Orion Girls from Star Trek? I, for one, will be buying this app as soon as it’s released.

YEP.

Missed connection services have been around for a long time. They’ve been in the backs of newspapers and magazines, and there’s also a fairly popular section for them on CraigsList. They sort of feature as a beacon of hope, like Gatsby’s green light (except he got shot), for people who believe they caught someone’s eye when they were out at the supermarket or whatever but didn’t do anything about it. Maybe you should have. You know you should have. But you panicked, memories of Hayley flooding into your head. She only left you a year and a half ago. It’s too soon. What would you be like hitting on girls now? So you run. You run from the supermarket, cauliflower and baguette clutched in hand. Only at the McDonalds drivethrough, as they hand you the large strawberry milkshake you ordered for comfort, do you realise what your life has become. You realise you’re just throwing your life away pining for a lost love. These wounds won’t heal on their own. You should seize the day. And that girl you saw in the supermarket would have been great AND GODAMMIT YOU FUCKED UP. So you go home and write a missed connection and feel better about yourself. Maybe she’ll see it, maybe not. Probably not. But it’s a sort of release just putting it out there. This is a Missed Connection.

The cool thing behind the concept of iTiggy is that its a Missed Connections specific online dating website. It hopes to build on the recent waves of success for online dating in general. You know what that means? That whole part in the explanation above about how people don’t usually actually rekindle these missed connections? Well, no longer! If people actually get on this, it could become a big thing. It even uses GPS check-ins to cross-reference reported missed connections and it is such a clever idea. It could make missed connections actually work. Now is definitely the right time in the market to try something like this. What do you think? A silly or cool idea? Let us know in the comments below.

So here are some spoof dating profiles I’ve jazzed up to give anyone who’s struggling a bit of inspiration.

OK, so you like the simple things in life, doesn’t mean your profile has to be simple though…

Plain and simple

I’m a graphic designer and in my spare time I like reading and walking and listening to music. I like eating out and my perfect date would be to meet in a coffee shop which serves nice cake.

Becomes…  “Simply Charming”

When I’m not designing the world’s next iconic logo I enjoy the simple pleasures in life. My nose is usually burrowedburied in a good book, my feet are happiest when strolling around the countryside and my ears have great taste in music. I’m a real foodie, so my perfect date would be to sample some authentic Italian cuisine in Venice, failing that I’d settle for a cosy coffee shop that serves a slice of yummy chocolate cake!

Show off your good points, without putting them off…

The Show Off

I’m a great guy who has many friends and a great career. I like to work out and take a lot of pride in my appearance. I’m funny, intelligent good looking and people are always asking me why I am still single.

Becomes… “A Showboat!”

I really enjoy my life and I’m pleased with what I’ve achieved so far. But no-one’s perfect and we all need a bit of help sometimes; which is why I am here. Apparently I’ve got nice eyes and look good in a pair of speedos, but you’ll have to get in touch to find out if that’s true.

Avoid overdone phrases and cheesy clichés…

Heard it all before?

I’m a genuine girl with a good sense of humour. I’m outgoing, down to earth and like socialising. I would like to meet someone who enjoys live music, travelling and trying out new things.

Becomes… “Want to hear more?”

Fancy going to a gig? How about a weekend away in a Brussels? How about just chilling in a trendy wine bar with some good conversation? Well this fun-loving girl needs a partner in crime, so if you know how to have a laugh and have a spontaneous streak, get in touch.

So no potential boyfriends there. To put it bluntly, it was like a meat market. The whole environment was sleazy. The men where looking women up and down and grabbing them. I saw more than one man get slapped in the face.

Even though from a dating point of view it was a total wash out, we did end up having a really good laugh and I made some new female friends too.

Read part two of my top ten tips and increase your chances of success in finding love online.

Be realistic

We are taught not to judge a book by its cover, however, so much of internet dating is about doing just that.  The problem with this is that you could end up discounting someone who could be a great match for you because you don’t like the look of them.  We all have an internal list of ‘deal-breakers’ we’re looking for in someone else.

What you need to do is identify yours and then objectively see whether it’s a realistic list.  Is it really so important that someone you date younger than you, two inches smaller, or owns the whole radiohead back catalogue? Realistically, if you met someone who was a little older, that you had tons in common with, would a few years make such a difference?  Sadly, internet dating makes us focus on the superficial, which isn’t what long term relationships thrive on.   I can’ t stress enough how important it is that you are honest with yourself about what you are looking for.  This doesn’t mean you should go on a date with everyone that asks you, but make sure you’re not rejecting someone that could be a good match, but doesn’t have the right hair colour.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

It’s a really easy mistake to make, however, don’t feel that you need to stop chatting to people online once you start arranging face to face dates.  Although it goes against our natural etiquette instincts, (it seems rude to continue flirting with others online when you’re dating people), you must make sure you don’t narrow down your options at the first opportunity.  You’ll have spent some time chatting to a variety of people that you’re interested in, so don’t be tempted to stop chatting to them or not arrange to meet up because you have been on a date with someone else.  Although you might go on a date that feels like it’s gone really well, it will take you both a few dates to really know whether you might have a connection.  It’s really easy to get sucked into just dating one person, but keep your options open and chat to lots of people– you’ll know when the time is right to be exclusive with one person.

Be the right sort of keen

I write this particular tip with a caveat attached – i really dislike ‘games and rules’, when it comes to dating, however this is one area of internet dating that has a definite rule to it.  As a coach, i don’t like it, however if you’re using the internet to date, i think you need to know about it!

It’s important that you get the balance right of being keen, but not being too keen.  Confused?  Let me explain further…  How you contact people online is often viewed as an indication of your keenness, therefore you have to make sure you appear keen, but not overly keen, or as some might view it, desperate.   So how do you do this?  You have to take your time.  Although it might be tempting to want to write very long emails to someone explaining why you think you’re a good match, or respond within minutes of them emailing you, think about how that can seem to someone else.  Although you want them to know you are keen, over-sharing or responding very quickly can feel a bit overwhelming when you’re on the receiving end. Your good intentions could therefore see you pushing someone away rather than making a connection.  At the other end of the scale, if you act too nonchalant and don’t respond to someone’s email for a week, you’re unlikely to get asked on a date!  A rule of thumb is to keep things short and snappy to start with, and reply to people within 24-48 hours.

Be safe

This may seem really obvious, but make sure you stay safe when dating online.  I have to stress that 99.9% of people on online dating sites are perfectly legitimate, however, we’ve all read about internet dating scams and cases where people haven’t been who they said they were.  You have to give yourself time to get to know people, and whilst you do, don’t share any of your personal information.  Don’t give out your address, details of your workplace, or share really personal things about yourself when chatting online.  It also goes without saying that if anyone ever asks you for money (and it does happen in some rare cases), report them to the site administrator and cease any communication.  If you’re arranging to go on a date, make sure you meet in a public place and tell a friend where you are going.

Remember, just because you’ve exchanged a few chatty emails with an individual doesn’t mean you know someone and you should get too familiar.

Feel free to walk away

This tip applies to all stages of internet dating – if it doesn’t feel right, then walk away.  If you’ve signed up to a site for a few months, but you’re either not getting any dates (even after adjusting your profile), then don’t feel you need to stick it out, just move on.

By all means, keep chatting to people online that you’re not sure about to see whether you begin to find some common ground, but if this doesn’t start to happen, don’t feel you need to keep chatting.  It can be tempting to keep chatting to those that you’re not really connecting with until someone better comes along, however, if you’ve no intention of meeting up with them, don’t keep them hanging on.

Play nice

For some strange reason, the world of internet dating can make people behave in a way that would make them blush if they were in the real world; some contact people with pretty fruity suggestions of what they’d like to do with them, some arrange to meet up and then vanish into thin air, some reveal all their past relationship issues at the drop of a hat… If you’ve ever found yourself doing these things, consider for a moment what the person on the receiving end might think!

I’m a big fan of being yourself when online, therefore, behave on a dating site how you’d like to be treated and you’re likely to get a good response.  If someone emails you and you’re not interested, take a few moments to thank them, but let them know you’re not interested.

If you find yourself wanting to date someone exclusively, but you’re still chatting to people, rather than stop all communication, send an email telling them how much you’ve enjoyed chatting to them, but you’ve just started dating someone and want to see how it goes.  This way, if it doesn’t go to plan, you’ve left the door ajar to potentially strike up the chatting again.

And one final piece of advice…keep it in perspective

Although you should invest some time in internet dating, make sure it doesn’t consume you; it will zap your energy and could make you a bit cynical if you spend too much time focusing on bagging a date.  When you start dating, you’ll want to show the other person what a lovely, interesting life you have, so make sure you get out there and have fun.  Any form of dating can dent your ego, so it’s important to keep a good balance between this and the rest of your life.

The main thing to take away from this is that its a dating service designed specifically for the listeners of a particular radio station. Often people find they like to date people with similar music tastes, which is the whole premise of some online dating sites.

How do you feel about localised dating services like this as opposed to generic web-wide ones? It does help build on connections that are already established, and also adds a sense of community. On the other hand it could be chaotic if every service had an attached dating feature. Let us know in the comments section below.