Obviously, the following taboos don’t apply to every first date. For example, if you’ve arranged a date with this person because you are both politics students then you can probably ignore the usual total ban on bringing up politics.
Otherwise, the rule holds good and also extends to religion and topics like immigration or terrorism – you don’t want to get into any serious debates which could lead to an early argument. Couples often hold widely differing beliefs and still get on well together, but such discussions are not for a first date.
DON’T talk about how much money you make in the hope of impressing – it’s more likely you’ll come across as a show-off. In fact, be very careful about talking yourself up in general.
No Bragging!
Obviously you are hoping to make a good impression but you need to do that without sounding conceited. Okay, you might well be the best sales consultant in your office or drive a more expensive car than any of your friends – but don’t point it out at this stage.
It’s also a bad idea to talk about your ex-partner or spouse, bad-mouth your workmates or go into the details of a family feud. If your date pushes you for more information when you say your five-year relationship has just ended, then give the short rather than the long version. (And don’t make it sound like you were the injured party in the break-up even if you were!)
An explanation like “we decided we wanted different things from life” or “he moved to London for his career but I wanted to stay here” is enough for now.
On a first date it’s also a really bad idea to bring up sex, describe how you got legless at your friend’s party last night or get into any long, complicated or personal stories – such as why you left home at 16 or why you haven’t spoken to your brother in two years.
A first date should be exciting, fun and light-hearted. You should both go home feeling like you had a really pleasant evening so keep serious/sad news to the minimum.
Keep it Light-hearted
If you’ve recently had a difficult experience – such as a close relative dying or losing your job, don’t use this date as an excuse to pour out your heart and get some sympathy. That’s what your friends are for – and it will certainly put the dampers on the evening.
Often, your date will show interest in your problem or ask how you are coping but this is simply politeness – it’s not the signal for you to relate the argument you had with your boss or tell a long story about visits to the vet before your beloved moggie drew her last breath.
And if you suddenly realise that you’ve started a long drawn-out story then simply stop, apologise and move onto a different subject. It’s only on Mastermind where you’ve started so you have to finish!
Football is Off Limits
Another thorny topic of conversation is sport. Many men could talk about football/rugby or cricket till the cows come home and it’s very easy to witter on when you’re feeling nervous.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong in asking your date if they are interested in any sports but even if they say they love football or golf, it could well be politeness again and they don’t really want to discuss the last Man United match for the next hour!
In fact, whatever subject you bring up – remember that your date wants to be polite and put you at ease. So, unless their replies make it clear that they are genuinely passionate about the subject under discussion, keep it brief!
You don’t want them going home with the memory of you boring them senseless talking about your online Scrabble competitions!
NO Checking Facebook!
Finally – ALWAYS switch off your mobile phone unless you are waiting for a very urgent call – or at least switch it to silent and check it when you go to the loo.
However nervous you are, don’t make the mistake of answering three phone calls from your friends to see how things are going – and don’t spend the time over drinks texting your friends, otherwise your date will feel like a spare part!
After all, the whole idea of this evening is to find out a little about the other person and decide whether you like each other enough to start dating so you want your date to go home thinking they had fun.
