Awful First Dates Rarely Lead to a Second.

It’s hard to believe, but there are some people out there who have never had an awful first date. There are some people among us, who meet their sweetheart at school and then marry them. Hence they never really date; they have a snog at the disco, get “asked out” hold hands to and from school and 10 years later they get married.

Then there are the rest of us, where dating has become part of our life journey. We’re the people who have grown up with dating; dated studied and, dated inappropriate colleagues, dated friends, and dated friend’s exes. We have blossomed through dating, but we have also crashed and burned. We have stories to tell and we have ALL had an awful first date.
In fact, I’ve had my fair share, at least one for each stage of my life…

6th Form: My first real date

We were going to the cinema, me and Mr Perfectionist. Because that’s what you do at 6th Form, go on a date with someone who is slightly in love with themself, and they take you to watch a film. It’s an unwritten rule. He was in his Dad’s car, with a shiny new driving licence, and when I went to get in he said: “Just to warn you, that chair’s a bit dodgy”. I discovered by dodgy he meant broken, and every time he accelerated the chair would slide backwards and every time he braked I would slide forwards. Looking back, I can see the funny side, but back then, as a self-conscious 17 year old, it kind of ruined the date.

University Dating: Drunk Before It Started

This time I was a little bit nervous because I liked him and he was a friend of a friend; I felt under pressure for it to be a good date. Therefore, I thought it would be a good idea to sink a bottle of wine in the bath, then get ready, then just as I was leaving the house, Inaturally decided it would be a good idea have a quick smoke on flatmate’s funny cigarette. I don’t actually remember much of the date, apart from the fact that I thought myself to be hilarious and rarely shut up. But the next day I learnt I had been doing some rather funky dance moves in the rather empty bar, much to his embarrassment. My Date (who never rang me again) had impersonated these funky moves to my flat mate, who in turn found it amusing to use this impersonation as his party trick – FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS!

Unprofessional Dating

Most people have dated someone from work – it’s where most partners meet. But there is always a risk it will go badly, and the professional relationship will be broken forever. Therefore, colleagues tend to be discreet when dating each other, you know, just in case… A colleague and I intended to be discreet on our first date. But, unfortunately, the obscure, off the beaten track, pub we chose to meet at also happened to be the local of our vulgar, unsubtle and gleefully disapproving boss. It didn’t make things easy and we never bothered again.

None of these awful dates led to a second date; sometimes a bad first date can kill off any spark. However, as I have got older, I have become wiser (in the dating circuit at least) and have learnt that the following two things help diffuse any awkward situation: a sense of humour and a smile. If you take yourself, or a date, too seriously, it is never going to blossom into its true potential. First dates need to be light hearted, relaxed and engaging. And if you hit 1 out of 3, you’re not doing too badly.

Continue reading here: Ideas for First Dates – Reinventing the Wheel!

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